Life is simple, but your mind makes it complicated.
The simple part is to always remember that there is no need to send your energy outwards towards anyone. We only send our energy outwards because we are afraid. Afraid that others will not see us, hear us, understand us, love us, or that they will somehow hurt us. Even if we are doing healing work with others we must be conscious of not trying to manipulate another's energy field. Instead we send that energy to them for their highest good -- we do not know what there highest good is.
You are an indestructible, immortal being. That is the truth. No one can really hurt you. No one needs to see you for you to be okay. It is only your mind's fear that creates the idea of hurt, isolation, wrongness, badness, and unlovability.
Remember that you do not need to receive any energy from anyone else. You are strong in your own energy field and in your own heart. Your mind is only trying to validate your existence by reaching out to others' energy, for approval or love.
So your job, your practice, is to gain mastery over your mind. To do this, yes, you must do your practice daily. No matter what else is going on in your world you must do your practice every day.. even if you believe you have to choose to do a shorter practice, still do your practice.
Don't believe more than 5% of what your mind tells you. Most of your thoughts will be lies, half truths, fears, judgments, repetitions of other peoples' ideas/beliefs, or random nonsense from the millions of stimuli we all receive each day. Most of the time you are being thought, rather than actually consciously thinking.
Know that you can choose anything at anytime. There will be no right or wrong choice. Only choices that support your highest good and those that do not. We don't always know whether it is serving our highest good until after we choose, but that is okay because there will always be another bunch of choices waiting to be made.
No one is making you feel anything. You are choosing how you feel by how you think about what you have experienced... whether you react unconsciously or respond consciously is entirely up to you in every moment. How can it be about anyone else, since 95% of what others think or say about you is untrue --running through their own filters of ideas, beliefs and fears. This is like looking through extremely dirty, scratched, and unfocused prescription glasses... there is little clarity that can emerge from this type of unconscious viewing of another person.
Create the space everyday to be still, quiet, whether in the midst of a practice (e.g. yoga, meditation, chanting, prayer...) or in nature. Wake up to the fact that you are choosing to stand on a theater stage with all these people around you; each of you reading your lines, playing your roles. Ask yourself, "Did I choose this script, this role?" If you did, then choose to live it consciously, with total awareness. If you did not choose this script, this role, then become aware of that fact and vow to stay awake and choose how you want to live this life. Start now.
Go gently in each moment. Love your self, moment by moment.
Love,
Edward
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Jal ad-Din Rumi
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Healthy Skepticism
Watching a talk given by 'Bashar', an entity channeled by Darryl Anka (www.bashar.org), I noticed my skepticism. I have personally channeled beings from other realities, as well as people who have died suddenly and traumatically, but not realized they had died, as I helped them move on to the next phase of their paths. So, why the skepticism? Because I have had these experiences, as well as mediumship experiences of different forms with people who have passed on, I have very high standards of what I consider to be clear and quantifiable information.
For me, the 'gold standard' for deciding, for example, if a communication purported to be from a deceased love one through a medium is real or not includes: 1) clear, specific, unambiguous information versus general information that could fit anyone of a certain gender, age, demographic etc; 2) information without interpretation by the medium (e.g. 'an older white male wearing a blue shirt and grey wool pants, and holding a shovel has appeared to me; he lets me know that he is your grandfather' versus 'your grandfather is showing me a shovel, which means he loved to garden...'); and finally 3) at least one piece of information must be something that you, the client, does not know about and could have had no way to know about it; which means you, the client, must find a family member or a historical reference to validate that information (e.g. 'the gentleman lets me know that his real name is John Smith, not Byron Jones, his name having been changed when he was adopted at age 6 months').
So, I once channeled --that is, brought through a verbal communication, from a being not of this time-space reality-- Darax, a being who stated his kind did not live in 'mattered reality' as humans do, but rather in a 'fluidic reality'. What?! I could easily dismiss this experience as being the product of an over active imagination (for those of you who are familiar with the psycho-spiritual model called the Enneagram will understand when I say this over active imagination is a quality of the Type 4 energy/personality), except for the fact that I was completely surprised by the experiences leading up to this actual communication.
I was working with Bhuvaneswari Devi (www.bhuvaneswari.ca) to increase my already active trance/altered state abilities in order to support the possible communication of wisdom from other than ordinary Earth realities and/or from Earth herself. In the preparation process Bhuvaneswari taught this energy I felt building inside me to use my vocal cords. I felt my throat and vocal cords expand, become larger, in a very physical way. When he, or they since Darax stated he represented the beings from where he existed, actually spoke it was with an accent and a confidence that I did not possess in that moment.
So, while I am very curious about what others are relating via altered states of consciousness, such as Darryl Anka and Bashar, mentioned above, and actually find much of what is communicated either believable or even matching information I have myself received, I still find my skepticism arise.
We must be open to learn, but also open to questioning what we are hearing --the basis of skepticism, which has become warped by those who make being 'skeptics' a full-time career.
I welcome your skepticism about anything I say or write.
Thanks for listening.
Edward
For me, the 'gold standard' for deciding, for example, if a communication purported to be from a deceased love one through a medium is real or not includes: 1) clear, specific, unambiguous information versus general information that could fit anyone of a certain gender, age, demographic etc; 2) information without interpretation by the medium (e.g. 'an older white male wearing a blue shirt and grey wool pants, and holding a shovel has appeared to me; he lets me know that he is your grandfather' versus 'your grandfather is showing me a shovel, which means he loved to garden...'); and finally 3) at least one piece of information must be something that you, the client, does not know about and could have had no way to know about it; which means you, the client, must find a family member or a historical reference to validate that information (e.g. 'the gentleman lets me know that his real name is John Smith, not Byron Jones, his name having been changed when he was adopted at age 6 months').
So, I once channeled --that is, brought through a verbal communication, from a being not of this time-space reality-- Darax, a being who stated his kind did not live in 'mattered reality' as humans do, but rather in a 'fluidic reality'. What?! I could easily dismiss this experience as being the product of an over active imagination (for those of you who are familiar with the psycho-spiritual model called the Enneagram will understand when I say this over active imagination is a quality of the Type 4 energy/personality), except for the fact that I was completely surprised by the experiences leading up to this actual communication.
I was working with Bhuvaneswari Devi (www.bhuvaneswari.ca) to increase my already active trance/altered state abilities in order to support the possible communication of wisdom from other than ordinary Earth realities and/or from Earth herself. In the preparation process Bhuvaneswari taught this energy I felt building inside me to use my vocal cords. I felt my throat and vocal cords expand, become larger, in a very physical way. When he, or they since Darax stated he represented the beings from where he existed, actually spoke it was with an accent and a confidence that I did not possess in that moment.
So, while I am very curious about what others are relating via altered states of consciousness, such as Darryl Anka and Bashar, mentioned above, and actually find much of what is communicated either believable or even matching information I have myself received, I still find my skepticism arise.
We must be open to learn, but also open to questioning what we are hearing --the basis of skepticism, which has become warped by those who make being 'skeptics' a full-time career.
I welcome your skepticism about anything I say or write.
Thanks for listening.
Edward
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
There is no such thing as "Past": Infant self soul retrieval
Since I see this human daily life in the same way I view the sleeping dreamtime --it's all a dream-- then it seems quite ironic that the kitten, Sufi, is outside my bedroom door meowing incessantly to get in.
Practically speaking I know what happens if I let her in, she will climb all over me attempting to chew on my face and clamor all over the laptop keyboard. I want to get these words down before the wee one arrives. Irony, irony....
As often happens, I woke from sleep with a very small part of a song in my head, "I surrender". I recognize the song, as it fades from my memory, but am unable to find the version of it on iTunes. Anyway, even though when this normally happens I like to find the lyrics and get the 'bigger' meaning from the song, I'll let that little cybersurfing distraction go.
The point is, the song is telling me a part of me is willing to surrender, to surrender something that has been held. Stay with me, this will all come together.
Yesterday I went for an ayurvedic consultation with Heidi Sherwood at the Sapphire Day Spa (http://www.sapphiredayspa.com). I don't see myself as a 'day spa' kind of guy, but my partner had seen Heidi and been very impressed by her knowledge so I thought I would give it a try. It was an excellent experience which I would highly recommend to everyone. You can check out Sapphire's website for more information about ayurveda, but suffice it to say it is a 5,000 year old body of knowledge that became the basis for both Chinese and Indian medicine/healing practices.
Do I seem to be rambling, distracting...? Hmmm....
After reading my pulses and looking at my tongue she described what she saw: a groove down the middle of my tongue that is representative of grief. Intuitively she sensed that this stemmed from the experience of being alone and abandoned as an infant, wondering when is anyone going to come? I know this to be a real experience for me as a child and it is not a stretch to see how this would have happened as an infant as well.
Heidi's suggestion, which frankly made me smile and squirm a little bit, was to do a meditation where I visit my new born self, hold him, and share my love with him. For those of you who know me and/or the work I do, you will know I do soul retrievals with people quite frequently --reclaiming lost soul essence that became separated from us due to some form of trauma. My squirming came from my superego's judgment that I "should" have already done this for myself. [Superego: picture a very powerful voice in your head that was fully formed by the time you were 3 years old; where you learned everything it needed to know about good, bad, right and wrong; then like a prison warden it keeps you confined in a tiny ego prison cell-like experience of the role(s) you are supposed to play in this life.]
When I was first training in ancient, universal Shamanic healing practices I experienced a powerful soul retrieval of my 7 year old and 16 year old selves. The former being the most impactful as I reclaimed his innocent playfulness and took him out of a very painful life experience.
So... the kitten has gone quiet at the door. Has she given up and wandered off in search of comfort somewhere downstairs, or is she waiting quietly outside the door, waiting for me to let her in?
Waking this morning with "I surrender" repeating in my head I decided to attempt the suggested meditation/soul retrieval of my infant self. I was shocked at the level of distraction that emerged in my psyche. I managed to visualize the hospital and the baby care area --the one filled with clear plastic bins, like fridge vegetable drawers, all lined up in rows to be monitored by nurses. I saw what I perceived to be my infant self, having become untucked from that swaddled, tight roll they put babies in to reduce the frantic shock of being outside the mother's womb in this overwhelmingly expansive world.
As I approached this imagined infant self, I reached out my hands, very much wanting to lift him out of that sterile place and hold him. But, all I found when I pulled my arms back was a stack of plastic clothes hangers! I know, weird right?
Upon seeing the hangers I immediately flashed to a drawing I did many years ago of a room filled with those metal rolling coat racks --the kind used by hotel valets to wheel around luggage and hanging clothes. The drawing depicted a vision I had of all these racks of clothes and spinning balls of light hovering around them. This was my perception, at the time, of how our souls choose the life we are going to enter in our next incarnation; like choosing a suit to wear, or a role to play as it were.
I can see in this moment how many roles I have played in this life. From the simple and practical son, friend, boyfriend, student, lover, husband... to the more complicated roles where my identity was more deeply entrenched in ideas, beliefs and stories. These latter roles are the ones that transcend "male, human, friend" identities by adding in the spices and rotting vegetables of the soup that becomes "me: pitiful, abandoned child who never did it right enough to get the love I deserved" --a story, or one like it, that we all construct, renovate, and defend with our minds.
Clearly there is no such thing as "Past". As we grow and age we drag along our pains and our joys like family jewels that must be guarded against intruders. Like those 'crazy' moments of awareness that try to get us to open to the possibility that we can let go of our attachments to historic wounds, heal our separation from our true selves, reclaim lost soul essence, and Be in this moment right now.
I'm going to let the kitten in. She is never pissed off if she has to wait, but rather always delighted to be let in.
I will definitely revisit, over the next 24 hours, my meditation/soul retrieval with my infant self. I'll let you know how it goes.
Edward
Practically speaking I know what happens if I let her in, she will climb all over me attempting to chew on my face and clamor all over the laptop keyboard. I want to get these words down before the wee one arrives. Irony, irony....
As often happens, I woke from sleep with a very small part of a song in my head, "I surrender". I recognize the song, as it fades from my memory, but am unable to find the version of it on iTunes. Anyway, even though when this normally happens I like to find the lyrics and get the 'bigger' meaning from the song, I'll let that little cybersurfing distraction go.
The point is, the song is telling me a part of me is willing to surrender, to surrender something that has been held. Stay with me, this will all come together.
Yesterday I went for an ayurvedic consultation with Heidi Sherwood at the Sapphire Day Spa (http://www.sapphiredayspa.com). I don't see myself as a 'day spa' kind of guy, but my partner had seen Heidi and been very impressed by her knowledge so I thought I would give it a try. It was an excellent experience which I would highly recommend to everyone. You can check out Sapphire's website for more information about ayurveda, but suffice it to say it is a 5,000 year old body of knowledge that became the basis for both Chinese and Indian medicine/healing practices.
Do I seem to be rambling, distracting...? Hmmm....
After reading my pulses and looking at my tongue she described what she saw: a groove down the middle of my tongue that is representative of grief. Intuitively she sensed that this stemmed from the experience of being alone and abandoned as an infant, wondering when is anyone going to come? I know this to be a real experience for me as a child and it is not a stretch to see how this would have happened as an infant as well.
Heidi's suggestion, which frankly made me smile and squirm a little bit, was to do a meditation where I visit my new born self, hold him, and share my love with him. For those of you who know me and/or the work I do, you will know I do soul retrievals with people quite frequently --reclaiming lost soul essence that became separated from us due to some form of trauma. My squirming came from my superego's judgment that I "should" have already done this for myself. [Superego: picture a very powerful voice in your head that was fully formed by the time you were 3 years old; where you learned everything it needed to know about good, bad, right and wrong; then like a prison warden it keeps you confined in a tiny ego prison cell-like experience of the role(s) you are supposed to play in this life.]
When I was first training in ancient, universal Shamanic healing practices I experienced a powerful soul retrieval of my 7 year old and 16 year old selves. The former being the most impactful as I reclaimed his innocent playfulness and took him out of a very painful life experience.
So... the kitten has gone quiet at the door. Has she given up and wandered off in search of comfort somewhere downstairs, or is she waiting quietly outside the door, waiting for me to let her in?
Waking this morning with "I surrender" repeating in my head I decided to attempt the suggested meditation/soul retrieval of my infant self. I was shocked at the level of distraction that emerged in my psyche. I managed to visualize the hospital and the baby care area --the one filled with clear plastic bins, like fridge vegetable drawers, all lined up in rows to be monitored by nurses. I saw what I perceived to be my infant self, having become untucked from that swaddled, tight roll they put babies in to reduce the frantic shock of being outside the mother's womb in this overwhelmingly expansive world.
As I approached this imagined infant self, I reached out my hands, very much wanting to lift him out of that sterile place and hold him. But, all I found when I pulled my arms back was a stack of plastic clothes hangers! I know, weird right?
Upon seeing the hangers I immediately flashed to a drawing I did many years ago of a room filled with those metal rolling coat racks --the kind used by hotel valets to wheel around luggage and hanging clothes. The drawing depicted a vision I had of all these racks of clothes and spinning balls of light hovering around them. This was my perception, at the time, of how our souls choose the life we are going to enter in our next incarnation; like choosing a suit to wear, or a role to play as it were.
I can see in this moment how many roles I have played in this life. From the simple and practical son, friend, boyfriend, student, lover, husband... to the more complicated roles where my identity was more deeply entrenched in ideas, beliefs and stories. These latter roles are the ones that transcend "male, human, friend" identities by adding in the spices and rotting vegetables of the soup that becomes "me: pitiful, abandoned child who never did it right enough to get the love I deserved" --a story, or one like it, that we all construct, renovate, and defend with our minds.
Clearly there is no such thing as "Past". As we grow and age we drag along our pains and our joys like family jewels that must be guarded against intruders. Like those 'crazy' moments of awareness that try to get us to open to the possibility that we can let go of our attachments to historic wounds, heal our separation from our true selves, reclaim lost soul essence, and Be in this moment right now.
I'm going to let the kitten in. She is never pissed off if she has to wait, but rather always delighted to be let in.
I will definitely revisit, over the next 24 hours, my meditation/soul retrieval with my infant self. I'll let you know how it goes.
Edward
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Inquirers into truth
Yesterday I invested my embodied presence in a kitchen chopping vegetables, doing dishes, serving food, and listening while twenty-nine people inquired into the truth. Why was I there, at this retreat center? Quite simply because I was asked to fill in for someone who did not feel well, but what I realized was I had a choice.
I have worked with a teacher, Bhuvaneswari Devi (www.bhuvaneswari.ca), who said, "Need nothing, desire everything, and choose what shows up." When I first heard this phrase it made no sense and sounded like a bunch of spiritual mumbo jumbo to perpetuate, as I judged at the time, an infantile view that everything is perfect exactly as it is. I'll jump ahead now and say I do see the world this way now -- well, this world and every other one I'm currently experiencing... but that's a story for another tavern as Michael Torresan (www.alinow.com) is want to say.
So yes, I chose to be in that kitchen for all of yesterday and for the breakfast prep and clean up this morning. I needed nothing to be different than it was. I desired the fullness of my experience in this life. And, I chose what showed up... the request to be the chef's helper. Now, to be clear this little phrase does not mean you stay in an abusive relationship because "that's what showed up", but it does mean by stopping needing that abusive relationship to be different, and desiring to experience the fullness of this precious human experience, you can choose to show up and realize you can make a different choice and get the support needed to leave that relationship.
Chopping, washing, serving, listening, and witnessing... I saw people becoming embodied. The not so simple task of inquiring into the truth was resulting in people suddenly finding themselves in their bodies, along with the requisite portions of pain and joy that go along with being embodied. It was beautiful to see and hear. And I had the privilege of supporting these embodied souls by chopping peppers and making sure they had clean plates each time the eating contemplation gong sounded. And I had the joy of witnessing their soft faces, confused minds, and open hearts laid bare before me.
If you've ever been on a farm or a wild piece of land very early in the morning, while the mist is still clinging to the ground, with only the sound of your own footsteps you'll have a sense of the stillness we can experience in the middle of absolute beauty. That's what it was like witnessing the quiet, embodied souls of those twenty-nine inquirers into truth.
Edward
I have worked with a teacher, Bhuvaneswari Devi (www.bhuvaneswari.ca), who said, "Need nothing, desire everything, and choose what shows up." When I first heard this phrase it made no sense and sounded like a bunch of spiritual mumbo jumbo to perpetuate, as I judged at the time, an infantile view that everything is perfect exactly as it is. I'll jump ahead now and say I do see the world this way now -- well, this world and every other one I'm currently experiencing... but that's a story for another tavern as Michael Torresan (www.alinow.com) is want to say.
So yes, I chose to be in that kitchen for all of yesterday and for the breakfast prep and clean up this morning. I needed nothing to be different than it was. I desired the fullness of my experience in this life. And, I chose what showed up... the request to be the chef's helper. Now, to be clear this little phrase does not mean you stay in an abusive relationship because "that's what showed up", but it does mean by stopping needing that abusive relationship to be different, and desiring to experience the fullness of this precious human experience, you can choose to show up and realize you can make a different choice and get the support needed to leave that relationship.
Chopping, washing, serving, listening, and witnessing... I saw people becoming embodied. The not so simple task of inquiring into the truth was resulting in people suddenly finding themselves in their bodies, along with the requisite portions of pain and joy that go along with being embodied. It was beautiful to see and hear. And I had the privilege of supporting these embodied souls by chopping peppers and making sure they had clean plates each time the eating contemplation gong sounded. And I had the joy of witnessing their soft faces, confused minds, and open hearts laid bare before me.
If you've ever been on a farm or a wild piece of land very early in the morning, while the mist is still clinging to the ground, with only the sound of your own footsteps you'll have a sense of the stillness we can experience in the middle of absolute beauty. That's what it was like witnessing the quiet, embodied souls of those twenty-nine inquirers into truth.
Edward
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Embodiment and the Crucifixtion
Why did Jesus say, "My God, my God why hast Thou forsaken me?" Whether one believes the story of Jesus on the cross is true, fabricated, or archetypal, this is a vital moment in the overall story of humanity. It is also, from my perspective, an underlying truth to understanding how we can experience enlightenment.
I think that moment on the cross was actually the first time Jesus experienced himself as human. No matter how difficult life might have been for him as he traveled around teaching, healing, learning, and being persecuted, he was still the "Son of God". Knowing this as he did must have made any hardship seem ridiculously insignificant.
After hours nailed to the cross Jesus says those historic words, "...why hast Thou forsaken me?" In that instant he became embodied fully, fully knowing how incredibly painful this human experience can be, and he experienced separation from the Divine.
Many religious teachers have written that God did turn his back on Jesus while he was on the cross because Jesus had taken on all of humanity's sins and that God is 'too pure to look upon evil'. Can the purity of divinity actually see evil? When we are in a true state of non-judgment and true love there is no evil, only unhealthy actions that reap unhealthy consequences. So Jesus' separation was a thought, an idea of separation.
As humans we tend to take on one of two ways of being... or perhaps both ways of being, but at different times ...that of experiencing ourselves in horrible pain and completely separate from everything that is not pain, or that of being caught up in the dream of this life, thinking it's all that exists and not really wanting to know anything else. Metaphorically speaking, we are either Christ on the cross feeling forsaken or we are the town's people who refuse to see the crucified.
Our separation from the Divine goes way beyond any ideas we have of God. It is the mind's idea of separation that truly disconnects us from All That Is -- the Earth, our fellow human beings, every living thing, and our own essential self. Oh my God, why have I forsaken the truth of who and what I am?
Just like Jesus we need to embody here in this human life in order to transcend its illusion. Embodying means fully experiencing every moment of pain-joy; a constant, conscious awareness of all light and shadow around us and within us.
If that doesn't sound easy it's because it is not. Just like going to a movie theater where we can get lost in a story portrayed in flashing lights on a screen, so is our experience of falling asleep in the dream of being human. Even when we do have a moment of 'awakening', of seeing through the thin veil of illusion that is wrapped around all of us every day, all it can take is getting cut off in traffic to pop us right back into the dream.
We can, however, begin by being open to the possibility that we are more than our physical bodies, while being present in our physical bodies. The more I embody the more I see the beauty of this amazing planet and all its astounding creatures and beings. I no longer desire to leave here as quickly as I can, hating life and its apparent meaninglessness. Now, I want to breathe in the whole experience.
More on this subject to come, as we explore embodying and waking up together.
Edward
I think that moment on the cross was actually the first time Jesus experienced himself as human. No matter how difficult life might have been for him as he traveled around teaching, healing, learning, and being persecuted, he was still the "Son of God". Knowing this as he did must have made any hardship seem ridiculously insignificant.
After hours nailed to the cross Jesus says those historic words, "...why hast Thou forsaken me?" In that instant he became embodied fully, fully knowing how incredibly painful this human experience can be, and he experienced separation from the Divine.
Many religious teachers have written that God did turn his back on Jesus while he was on the cross because Jesus had taken on all of humanity's sins and that God is 'too pure to look upon evil'. Can the purity of divinity actually see evil? When we are in a true state of non-judgment and true love there is no evil, only unhealthy actions that reap unhealthy consequences. So Jesus' separation was a thought, an idea of separation.
As humans we tend to take on one of two ways of being... or perhaps both ways of being, but at different times ...that of experiencing ourselves in horrible pain and completely separate from everything that is not pain, or that of being caught up in the dream of this life, thinking it's all that exists and not really wanting to know anything else. Metaphorically speaking, we are either Christ on the cross feeling forsaken or we are the town's people who refuse to see the crucified.
Our separation from the Divine goes way beyond any ideas we have of God. It is the mind's idea of separation that truly disconnects us from All That Is -- the Earth, our fellow human beings, every living thing, and our own essential self. Oh my God, why have I forsaken the truth of who and what I am?
Just like Jesus we need to embody here in this human life in order to transcend its illusion. Embodying means fully experiencing every moment of pain-joy; a constant, conscious awareness of all light and shadow around us and within us.
If that doesn't sound easy it's because it is not. Just like going to a movie theater where we can get lost in a story portrayed in flashing lights on a screen, so is our experience of falling asleep in the dream of being human. Even when we do have a moment of 'awakening', of seeing through the thin veil of illusion that is wrapped around all of us every day, all it can take is getting cut off in traffic to pop us right back into the dream.
We can, however, begin by being open to the possibility that we are more than our physical bodies, while being present in our physical bodies. The more I embody the more I see the beauty of this amazing planet and all its astounding creatures and beings. I no longer desire to leave here as quickly as I can, hating life and its apparent meaninglessness. Now, I want to breathe in the whole experience.
More on this subject to come, as we explore embodying and waking up together.
Edward
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