Devotion

Why do teachers talk about 'devotion'? What is so important about a 'practice' when the world seems to be in a tailspin? Who or what do we talk to, or pray to, when it seems like we are all alone on a rock hurtling through space? What is the point of any of this life?

I woke this morning with heavy, tired eyes. My sleep was only disrupted for about an hour, but it seems to have been enough to give my mind all the material it needed to question my reality and develop depressing story lines. I got up anyway and headed to the living room to sit, to do some breathing and meditation. Instead of quiet I found the questions, written above, circling in my mind. Like vultures circling my tired carcass.

Devotion: the word implies loyalty and refers to private worship. Loyalty to what? Worshiping what? I sat to do a breath practice called Earth-Sky; a very powerful grounding and vibrationally enhancing breath. I heard my teacher's words float through my mind reminding me that I need 'devotion' to surrender to my practice. I am as likely as anyone to not do what I am told, or at least to question whether it is true for me or not. I grew up hearing the words, 'because I told you so'. So, I need a better reason than 'because I told you so.'

Devotion, for me, needs to be personal. It needs to have meaning and purpose. Now, that may sound very heady, but mostly what it means is I need to hear from my own deep place of inner wisdom before I leap off the proverbial cliff of self-determination. So why do I seek to deepen my experience of devotion and to what do I devote my energy, my presence, my soul?

I didn't know what I was going to write until I wrote those words. I devote myself to being presence in each moment. My mind/superego gladly jumps in with, "And you obviously don't succeed at that very often!" I hear the words, recognize the tiny kernel of truth, and then metaphorically watch the wind blow it away. I devote myself to being presence in each moment. I devote myself to being presence in each moment.

What is more valuable than choosing to consciously breathe in and out while there is so much fear and anger apparently running the world? As I gently imagine breathing grounding and relaxing energy up from the Earth and into my heart center I feel a calm fill me, and suddenly I am more aware of the sun illuminating the fir trees across the small salt water inlet outside my window. I smile as I become aware of Sufi, our feline companion, curled up on the blanket my partner's grandmother knitted. I am aware that upstairs my beloved partner sleeps. What else is there right now? Even asking this simple question is like tripping over a dozing, fearful animal called 'mind', that immediately wants to list all the horrors taking place on the planet. "What else is there right now?!?" it yells. But as I breathe in and out right now all I see and feel is beauty.

Who or what do we pray to, ask help from, when the mind is believable, tormenting us with the facts of ecological disaster, cruelty, abuse, and let's not forget the anticipated 'end of the world' in 2012? 'God' or 'Goddess' are touchy words, and the more fearful we become the less we believe in a person somewhere out there who will intercede on our behalf. The 'Universe' or 'Cosmos' can seem so vast, so expansive that it is hard to imagine it 'cares' about another speck of space dust like our little human self. In religion we often find the greatest solace in an actual, or believed actual, person, someone who has lived the pain and sorrow of this human life. So we turn to the Buddha, Jesus, Allah, Saints, or mother figures like Mary for the human touch, the warm presence of someone who would care if they were here with us.

When we complete our prayers we may find a renewed strength, courage, or hope to face our day, but we may also become aware that, in our human condition, we are once again alone. This aloneness, this moment where all we are left with is the quick beat of our own heart, is where we can find our 'devotion'. We take a deep conscious breath in order to slow the beating in our chest which can easily become anxiety, and we return to our practice again and again, moment by moment. Not for anyone else. Not because someone said to do it. This is our loyalty to our self. Not even because it brings us closer to some external guide or loving power, but because our devotion brings us closer to ourselves. The closer we are to ourselves the more we can know what we need, who we are, and what the point is of taking one more conscious breath... in and out.

Your devotion is personal. I teach people meditation and breath practices, but they may not do them. You need to look to what has deep meaning to you, but it needs to be simple like breathing is simple or listening to a bird's song is simple. The only real practice is in bringing your full attention, your full presence to it in the moment you become aware of it. Notice your mind's attempts to send you into a fearful story of pain and suffering, and then bring yourself back to breathing in and breathing out, to listening to the next bird song. Do this again and again and again. This is devotion.

With love,

Edward

The Sacred Physical Form

I have written before about 'embodying' in this human experience, but today I am noticing the real gift of physical mattered reality. I hear many people speaking of transcending matter, leaving form behind, as they aspire to become fully conscious, enlightened in this life. I don't believe that with increased consciousness comes reduced human physical experience, but rather just the opposite.

While it is true that we can transcend our 'needs' and even transcend our need for food (e.g. Breatharians), it is my sense that the more conscious we become the more access we have to experiencing the absolute joy of physical reality. Most humans are living in a dream state or dissociated state of consciousness --meaning most of us are not aware that we are anything more than our physical bodies, and are actually uncomfortably comfortable in that lack of awareness. As our wakefulness grows --meaning we have direct experiences of the dream nature of reality, of being energy beings connected to all other energy beings (which means everything), and we live with a conscious intention to stay awake-- the world of physical matter holds a much greater potential to amaze us and be enjoyed fully.

Many of the people I have met over the years who are doing personal growth work have described astral or out-of-body experiences that, if not frightening, were much more compelling than their physical Earth experiences. Some of these people spend their lives trying to 'get out' again. Why? They felt more alive, more real, more expansive and free. What if those same states can be lived daily right here on our beleaguered Planet Earth? Imagine feeling so alive, free, expansive and real here, even if you know you are more than your physical body, and thus actually want to be here and have the time of your life!

In the dreamtime, water (whether frozen, flowing, steaming, or falling from the sky) is always a representation of the Emotional Body. So that dream of sliding down the muddy hill into the scary, dark, cold lake, is about you sliding into your emotional body that for some reason is perceived as frightening and cold. Yesterday, I was at the beach with Whinni ji (our golden retriever companion), and, wearing my rubber boots, I walked into the water and stood there looking around at my surroundings while feeling joy and gratitude. I suddenly became fully aware that I was standing in my emotional body in my own personal dream life, and my emotional body was resonating joy and gratitude. Sweet.

This subtle awareness of dreaming while being fully in my physical form is an example of what I am talking about. This is the joy of embodying, of being present, of being awake in this physical experience... while knowing that it is only ideas and perceptions that hold the whole Earth experience together as reality. {I will be posting a video soon that will speak more to this awareness.}

It is not only in the joyful moments that we can wake up, but also in the painful ones. I have never been a big alcohol drinker, but what used to happen for me if I had even half a glass of beer was that 48 hours later I would suddenly feel sad, depressed or angry. It was like clockwork. It was suggested to me that I experiment with this timely awareness, so I would choose a day to have a beer when I knew that I would have some undisturbed time, by the outside world, 48 hours later. It was magical to watch the clock and wham! there it was, the sadness, depression and/or anger. By being very present, initially with loving support from my partner, I could sit with the emotions and I realize my pain body, as Tolle says, was being activated. Embodying in the present moment allowed me to go into the physical sensations, the emotional waves, and the mental thoughts and memories to release many childhood and adult painful residual energies from my emotional body.

When we do not fully embody here in physical form we cannot fully heal and release historical trauma, nor can we expansively experience the joy of loving another or ourselves, or of the simple experience of tasting a fresh strawberry.

Whether our physical form is 'real' or not may be debated, but I suggest that since we are all experiencing ourselves as mattered beings we make the conscious choice, moment by moment, to be here and to wake up in your physical form.

Wake up! You are dreaming. (-:

Edward